Introduction
Asking for a pay rise can be daunting for anyone, but research shows that women, in particular, face additional challenges compared to their male counterparts. While the concept of “if you don’t ask, you don’t get” is universal, women often encounter societal, psychological, and structural barriers that make asking for a pay increase more difficult. But understanding these barriers and how to navigate them is the first step toward successful salary negotiations.
In this blog, we’ll explore why women might find it harder to ask for a pay rise and provide actionable steps to help overcome these obstacles.
The Confidence Gap
One of the key reasons women hesitate to ask for a pay rise is the pervasive confidence gap between genders. Studies have consistently shown that men are more likely to overestimate their abilities, while women tend to underestimate theirs. This lack of confidence often results in women undervaluing their worth and hesitating to initiate salary conversations.
How to overcome it:
Building confidence starts with preparation. Before you walk into a meeting to discuss your salary, arm yourself with evidence of your accomplishments. Make a list of your key achievements, the value you’ve added to the company, and how you’ve gone above and beyond in your role. Visualising your contributions in black and white can boost your self-assurance.
Social Conditioning and Gender Expectations
Historically, women have been socialized to be more agreeable and nurturing, often being praised for these traits in both personal and professional settings. This social conditioning can make women more reluctant to negotiate for higher pay, fearing that they may come across as “pushy” or “demanding.” This contrasts with men, for whom assertiveness is often seen as a positive trait.
How to overcome it:
Reframe your mindset. Asking for a pay rise isn’t a selfish or aggressive act—it’s a professional conversation that benefits both you and your employer. Approach it as a business negotiation rather than a personal favour. Present your case based on the value you bring to the organization rather than framing it as a need-based request.
Fear of Backlash
Many women worry that asking for a pay rise may lead to negative repercussions, such as damaging their relationship with their manager or being perceived as difficult. The fear of backlash can be a significant deterrent.
How to overcome it:
Research your company’s pay policies and speak to HR about the proper procedures for salary discussions. Knowing the guidelines gives you a framework to follow and reduces the chances of an emotional response. Additionally, timing is crucial—schedule your meeting after a successful project or performance review, when your contributions are fresh in everyone’s mind.
Perception of Deservingness
Women often feel they must work harder to “earn” a pay rise and may wait for their boss to notice their hard work rather than advocating for themselves. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to proactively seek out pay increases even when their performance isn’t drastically different from others.
How to overcome it:
Don’t wait to be rewarded—initiate the conversation yourself. If you’ve taken on additional responsibilities or have consistently exceeded expectations, you’re more than deserving of a raise. Structure your request around the tangible value you’ve provided, such as revenue growth, process improvements, or enhanced client relationships.
Lack of Role Models or Mentorship
In many industries, women may lack senior role models who have successfully negotiated their salaries, making it harder for them to envision how to navigate these discussions. Without someone to look up to, it can feel like uncharted territory.
How to overcome it:
Seek out mentorship from women who have successfully negotiated their pay. Whether within your organization or through networking groups, having guidance from someone who has been through the process can help demystify the experience. Additionally, engaging in salary benchmarking and research using resources like the Hays Salary Guide can empower you with the knowledge of what your peers are earning.
Fear of Rejection
The prospect of being told “no” can be enough to dissuade women from asking for a raise altogether. Women are more likely to internalize rejection, viewing it as a personal failure rather than an opportunity for feedback or negotiation.
How to overcome it:
Understand that a “no” is not the end of the conversation. If your boss rejects your request for a pay rise, ask for constructive feedback on what you can do to achieve one in the future. Set measurable goals with your manager so you have a clear path toward a higher salary and consider negotiating for non-monetary perks if a pay rise is not immediately available.
Discomfort with Self-Promotion
Many women feel uncomfortable advocating for themselves and promoting their accomplishments, which can make salary negotiations feel particularly daunting. This discomfort can lead to vague or unconvincing business cases during discussions with their boss.
How to overcome it:
Practice self-promotion by regularly updating your manager on your achievements throughout the year. By keeping the lines of communication open about your contributions, you’ll feel more comfortable advocating for yourself when the time comes to discuss your salary. Use quantifiable metrics to show the value you bring to the company, making it hard for your boss to dispute your case.
Final Thoughts
Although women may face unique challenges when asking for a pay rise, preparation and self-advocacy can help to level the playing field. By understanding the obstacles and taking strategic steps to overcome them, women can empower themselves to achieve the pay they deserve.
If you’re preparing to ask for a pay rise, remember that your contributions are valuable, and it’s your right to advocate for your worth. The more you practice, the easier it will become to approach these conversations with confidence.
