Reclaiming Confidence Outside Your Comfort Zone
Introduction
Recently, I found myself doing something I hadn’t done in over a decade: speaking publicly at a conference. Just the thought of it stirred up a flurry of nerves. You might assume that, as an experienced trainer, coach and mentor, I’d feel completely at ease addressing a room full of people. I used to be, but the truth? I was incredibly nervous.
It had been years since I’d stood on a stage, let alone shared my personal insights with a live audience. I knew I had something meaningful to say, but self-doubt crept in—loudly. What if I forgot my words? What if my message didn’t land? What if I simply wasn’t good enough?
Preparation
To calm those inner doubts, I practiced my talk over and over again. I refined my points, adjusted my tone, and rehearsed not just what I wanted to say, but how I wanted to say it. I also took time to choose what to wear carefully—something that felt like ‘me’, but also gave me that extra sense of professionalism and confidence. I even got my hair done the day before, not out of vanity, but because it helped me feel a little more in control. These small acts of preparation were part of mentally preparing myself for a moment that felt big.
Feel the Fear…….
When the day arrived, the nerves didn’t magically disappear. My heart was racing as I stepped onto the stage, but I reminded myself why I was there—to share, to connect, and to serve.
And you know what? It went better than I could have imagined.
Afterwards, people came up to me with kind words—telling me I’d come across as authentic, inspiring, and yes, even confident. That last one made me smile. Because I hadn’t felt confident in the lead-up. But by showing up and doing it anyway, I had become confident in the process.
Confidence Comes with Action!
And that, really, is the heart of the matter. Confidence doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It’s built through action. Through stretching yourself beyond what feels safe or familiar. Through stepping outside your comfort zone and showing up as your full, imperfect self.
As a coach, I often support clients who are working through self-doubt, who are holding themselves back because they don’t feel “ready” or “good enough.” But the truth is, we rarely feel ready before we take the leap. The readiness comes through doing. The confidence comes through showing up.
Conclusion
So if there’s something you’ve been putting off because it feels too daunting—whether it’s public speaking, applying for a promotion, or having a courageous conversation—know this: you don’t have to feel 100% confident to begin. You just have to be willing to begin, and trust that confidence will meet you on the other side.
I’m so glad I stepped onto that stage. Not because it was easy, but because it reminded me—and hopefully reminded others—that growth lives just outside the comfort zone.
Want to talk about how to build confidence in your own life or leadership journey? Let’s connect.
